A wedding and an open House

Jeff got married in November in Washington DC the week before Thanksgiving so we stayed back East and enjoyed Thanksgiving in Boston. We ate out several times. I always thought it was just the waiters at Durgin Park in Fanueil Hall that were rude and/or blunt with customers, but we discovered some other places in Boston that recruit from the same waiters school apparently. I also discovered that the majority of the cab drivers come from Haiti. We had a number of them from Haiti while we were there. I asked one why someone from Haiti would come to live in Boston; the summers I can understand because it is hot and humid, but the winters? He could give me no good explanation although he started with a "my brother's cousin's friend" sort of explanation which seemed reasonable. But why did his brother's cousin's friend go there in the first place?

We got home and began preparing for an open house at our house for Jeff. The first part was a reunion of the three amigas who bake cakes, torts, and other desserts: Sydney, Dallas, and Bebe. The house began to fill up with the fruits of their efforts, filling the refrigerator, the garage refriegerator (yes we have two of them), and the freezer. I was trying to make the backyard look good but we had some setbacks. We were visited by raccoons several nights who dug up large portions of the lawn. One night after they visited, it looked like someone had played a bad round of golf and left a lot of divots scattered throughout the fairway. One end actually looked like it had been roto-tilled. We made repairs as best we could but were uncertain about what to do with the 35 sf or so of thoroughly tilled ground. We were thinking a plywood board but that seemed tacky. I went to Home Depot a few days before the event for plywood thinking astro turf might look ok in the evening light. I discovered some cheap sod that was less expensive than either plywood or asto turf and bought it instead. I put it in the next day which was the day of the open house. After I was done, I asked Jeff what he thought, and he said, "It looks like a bad haircut, Dad." Frankly, I thought it looked more like a cheap toupee.

We rented these tables and associated umbrellas and chairs and $500 of heaters so we could put people outside knowing the inside of the house was of modest capacity. We bought four or five dozen candles for the tables and center decorations. The day before it was raining; in fact the morning of the event it was raining lightly. The delivery truck with the lawn equipment arrived as did the moment of decision - tables or no tables? If you keep them, you pay full price. If you send them back, you pay half but you don't have them to use. We settled on a scaled down version. As it turns out, it rained right up until the event started and five or six people went outside. I estimate the cost of tables, chairs, heaters, and decorations at about $200 per guest who actually used them.

The bride and groom decided to go out during the afternoon while we were approaching the event which was fine. Except 45 minutes before it was scheduled to start they were still gone. I called and they were at a fast food place. They got home about 15 minutes before the open house was to start with no concerns whatsoever. Of course, one of the reasons they had no concerns was because they were wearing yellow tennis shoes under the wedding dress and below the tuxedo. Would you be concerned if you were willing to wear yellow tennis shoes to an event like this? Yellow patent leather I might be able to understand, but yellow tennis shoes told me I was not on the same page as they were. However, they were happy and they were married.

The people came, they brought gifts, they ate our cake, they drank our punch, they lingered, and there was enough room in the house. They weren't concerned about the tables outside, they didn't see the cheap grass toupee, and they thought it was a nice event. So now that that is over, what am I going to do about the raccoons?

If I can handle wealthy clients, I can certainly handle grandchildren

We agreed to watch our two grandchildren while their parents went out to dinner to celebrate a birthday. We would have sweet little Catherine for a few hours and her infant brother Jack. Having raised five children from start to finish, well mostly from start, I thought we could handle this. We’d had each of them before, and we are experienced.

Sydney got Jack to go to sleep and she laid him down in the playpen in our downstairs bedroom while Catherine was playing with toys in the family room. I was working on some other projects coming and going through the downstairs area. It went well for twenty minutes, and I thought we’d have a reasonably quiet evening while rendering service to the family. Then I saw Catherine slip out of the downstairs bedroom and I heard Jack stirring. Mischief was afoot.

I went into the bedroom and Jack was not happy, but his lungs hadn’t warmed up, yet. Someone had pulled the pacifier out of his mouth and the evidence was lying on the floor. I put it in his mouth. There was a moment of chewing and sucking, a look of dissatisfaction, and out it came. I picked him up and began to rock him but he was not buying it. I went to my chair in the family room and sat down and tried patting and rocking. Catherine came over to see what was happening and suddenly grabbed the pacifier out of his mouth. I asked her to give it back and she threw it at me! I told her to pick it up and hand it to me and she threw it at me again! I gave her one last chance and fixing her with the steely gaze of the dominant male of the household, I asked her to give it to me and she let me have it – on the fly.

At this point, Sydney could see (and hear) that I was not succeeding with Jack so she came and took him. She had been preparing a bottle for him and began to feed him. As she was settling in with him, Catherine jumped on her back and decided it was time to play with Grandma. I came to her rescue by taking Catherine under my arm, all limbs moving at the same time (hers not mine), and we went upstairs to seek adventure.

One of the things I look forward to at Christmas is getting a toy, and Sydney indulges me. Some of my family think this is an adolescent affectation, but I know young children and there is no better therapy than playing with a toy. Actually, one of the toys is a rubber dart gun and it can provide protection from small grandchildren as well as entertainment, that is, entertainment for them.

We went to the bedroom and got flashlights and turned out the lights and lay on the floor while we shined them on the ceiling. My flashlight spot chased her flashlight spot and visa versa all about the ceiling. We played a game of tag with the lights for quite a while. Then we got the dartgun and shot the rubber foam darts at the ceiling while we lay on the landing. The ceiling is fairly high and we were trying to see if after hitting the ceiling they came back down and landed on us.

By this time, the baby was back asleep and Catherine was at a point where it was time to put her down. We got her in her sleeping clothes and put her in bed, but I kept watch for a little while outside her bedroom to make sure she didn't make a break for freedom. However, she stayed in bed where she slept like a little innocent.

Michael and Lori retrieved them late in the evening and asked if there were any problems. "None whatsoever," we replied. If I can handle wealthy egocentric clients, I can handle small children.