We just got off our annual week on the houseboat on Lake Powell. The most impressive statistics of the week: four propellers and five mice. I'll get to them in a moment. The family and friends came together in Page, AZ on Saturday night the 20th from different parts of the country: Boston, New York City, Florida, Salt Lake City, Santa Barbara, Virginia, and Playa Del Rey. We went to Walmart for supplies and five or six grocery carts later we were ready for the lake. It's hard to imagine you can go through a grocery cart of drinks for 13 people and be running low four days later, but we were. There was an immense amount of sugar in those grocery carts as well.
We spend the first night on the houseboat in the boatyard on supports. Since we have power and water from landlines, it's like being in a nice motel in which you have an ownership interest, or like a boat that's run aground and you're pretending otherwise. The next day they pull you to the lake and put you in and you cruise up the lake with the powerboat being towed behind. Standing at the wheel as you move, you feel like you are on a small cruise ship, or the African Queen.
The first night this year we spent in Padre Bay. We put in four anchors to make sure if a wind came up we would be held fast to the beach. We don't just put them out, we dig a hole, we pound them in with a sledgehammer, and we make sure the anchor lines are properly tight because slack tends to allow the boat to swing in a wind. Well, a wind came up but I knew we were secure until one of the anchors started pulling out at which point all the men went into action in a manner that can only be described as similar to the accelerated animation in an early silent movie. Think Keystone Cops. Except it was blowing and thundering while we did it.
Several nights out we were looking for a new beach and it was getting late. We attempted to anchor in one spot, but the ground was bad for digging anchor holets and the boat was uncomfortably close to rocks. We decided to move to another spot in the fading light, and with great skill we got the boat out and underway, and with less skill we didn't notice a shallow rock on the way and went over it damaging both props. Because we left the earlier spot in a hurry, we left the small boat to pick up one of the anchors and part of the crew. They followed us ten minutes later and crossed the same rock we hit (prop 3). Two days later while reconnoitering for a new beach down the lake, we got to close to a rocky beach and ding we damaged anothe prop on the small boat. It was a record! We had never damaged more than one in a trip and it was a few years since we damaged one.
While sitting on the beach the night we destroyed three props, we had a serious storm but all the anchors held. I question whether they would have in the location we moved from. The same night or the next we discovered a stowaway - a mouse. We put out some traps and in a short time we caught the mouse, except his brother showed up elsewhere after he was caught. We caught the brother, then his cousin showed up and we caught him. Then his uncle wandered out and we caught him. We sent five of them off to the great beyond before we were done. Incidentally, peanut butter works just fine in mousetraps.
At the end of the week, we arrived back at the landing having survived/enjoyed another week of houseboating on Lake Powell.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Miscellaneous Things I am discovering along the way
I've been the Young Men's president for a while. I've learned a few things from that. One is that no matter how bad for you the food is, if it has sugar or fat or both, the young men will eat it. We were putting icing on cookies one Christmas so we could deliver them to some of the house bound members of the ward. Because it was all guys, one of the leaders bought the icing in tubes like a large toothpaste tube or tube of caulking. As we finished icing the cookies, I noticed one boy squirting the tube directly into his mouth until the entire tube was empty. I looked at him as he finished the tube, and he smiled at me and then squeezed the last bit into his mouth. Try eating a bowl of icing and tell me how you like it.
Sydney made a sheetcake for the young men on one occasion. Even if we only had four or five boys, they could eat all of it - it only took four or five pieces per boy to do that. The same thing with donuts. The unwritten rule with donuts is they must be eaten. All of them.
Catherine Anna Tanner stayed with us for a few days while her parents (Michael and Lori) were out of town. Sydney calls her a little angel, but she is more like a wood sprite except when she is in the bathtub when she is a water sprite. Playing, running, dancing a jig while she waits for something to start or to stop. She is an echo chamber as well - I'll say, "we're going to eat dinner" She'll say, "We're going to eat dinner?" "Let's read a book." "Read a book?" "Would you like some cheese?" "Some cheese?" She is also a little drama queen when she wants. One evening after a full day, Sydney bathed her then read to her until she finally settled in to sleep. About fifteen minutes later, I peeked into her room to make sure she was ok for the night (not sleeping perched on the edge of the bed ready to fall out), and in the slight illumination from outside her room I saw her slowly turn her head toward me and say, "I am soooooooo tired," before turning back and closing her eyes. From exactly what gene does this stuff come from to a two and a half year old?
I was watching the PGA Golf Tournament this week and was impressed by the level of play. I saw some of the pros hit balls in the water, and in the sand, and in the trees, and I thought to my self, "I can play like that." So I grabbed my clubs and went to the golf course and played just like that. I hit the ball into the trees and into the sand and into the weeds. If the pros can do it, so can I.
Sydney made a sheetcake for the young men on one occasion. Even if we only had four or five boys, they could eat all of it - it only took four or five pieces per boy to do that. The same thing with donuts. The unwritten rule with donuts is they must be eaten. All of them.
Catherine Anna Tanner stayed with us for a few days while her parents (Michael and Lori) were out of town. Sydney calls her a little angel, but she is more like a wood sprite except when she is in the bathtub when she is a water sprite. Playing, running, dancing a jig while she waits for something to start or to stop. She is an echo chamber as well - I'll say, "we're going to eat dinner" She'll say, "We're going to eat dinner?" "Let's read a book." "Read a book?" "Would you like some cheese?" "Some cheese?" She is also a little drama queen when she wants. One evening after a full day, Sydney bathed her then read to her until she finally settled in to sleep. About fifteen minutes later, I peeked into her room to make sure she was ok for the night (not sleeping perched on the edge of the bed ready to fall out), and in the slight illumination from outside her room I saw her slowly turn her head toward me and say, "I am soooooooo tired," before turning back and closing her eyes. From exactly what gene does this stuff come from to a two and a half year old?
I was watching the PGA Golf Tournament this week and was impressed by the level of play. I saw some of the pros hit balls in the water, and in the sand, and in the trees, and I thought to my self, "I can play like that." So I grabbed my clubs and went to the golf course and played just like that. I hit the ball into the trees and into the sand and into the weeds. If the pros can do it, so can I.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Home Repairs
For someone who works with their mind for a living, I have had a fascination for home repairs for many years. When I say I had, I say it in the same sense an alcoholic says he used to drink. I used to do home repairs, but I have been dry for some time and with any luck I will stay that way.
When you are newly married and poor, you believe you can do any repair. Some of the repairs I went looking for, while others were thrust upon me - there was the time I asked Sydney what the bulge in the ceiling drywall was in the entry area of our old home. The roof was old and it had just rained heavily. How much water could be trapped there anyway? So I poked a hole in the drywall with a screwdriver to let the water out, and voila! The ceiling collapsed dumping a lot of water and drywall on the floor and creating a ceiling and roofing project for me.
Recently, I put some new fixtures in our upstairs bathroom shower. New handles, downspout, shower fixture, and drain. A simple procedure. You take off the old hardware, put on the new, and there you are. The following weekend we had some young women guests as part of a youth conference, and they used the bathroom for showers. A perfect stress test of my work. I went into the garage while they were showering, and discovered we could have saved water by having one of them take a shower under the garage ceiling using the water that poured from the ceiling. It would have already been soapy for them. How could changing the drain do that? I was going to tear open the ceiling but called a plumber instead. He checked the bathtub drain and said the “shoe” was askew. Who knew a bathtub had shoes? I removed one drain and put another in and the bathtub threw a shoe like some frisky horse?
We had a kitchen faucet that was leaky so instead of doing the rational thing and calling a plumber, I decide to fix it myself. Unfortunately, to remove the valve, you had to crawl under the sink and disconnect several pipes then disassemble the valve so you could remove it from the sink so you could pull it apart to get to the interior piece that was the likely source of the mischief. I took it to the plumbing supply house where they were kind enough to sell me the new piece for the valve, and then the clerk said in a by the way you probably already knew this tone of voice, “You unscrew the top of the valve and pull the old stem out and insert the new one then screw the top back on.” The top of the valve! You mean the top unscrews? You mean you don’t have to take apart everything underneath the sink lying on your back with water dripping in your face trying to unscrew a fitting with one hand and holding a flashlight with the other. What made them think I didn’t know that?
Of course, if you’re not bright enough to manage plumbing, there is always drywall. I’ve done drywall. I’ve done it because my sons learned how to put holes in it early in their lives. I’ve stepped through dry wall ceilings while putting boxes in the attic. Don’t let anyone tell you insulation in the attic covers anything substantial. It only covers drywall, and that is not substantial, at least not compared to the weight of a person resting on one foot on the drywall. It surprised me and it surprised everyone in the room below. Well, you cut the drywall around the damaged area, then you cut a new piece of drywall to fit the hole, you nail it to the nearest piece of wood behind the hole, then you cover the gaps around the edge of the patch with drywall compound or tape it with drywall tape first, paint it, and it’s fixed. The final step is to hang a picture over it to avoid awkward questions. That's why ceilings are more difficult - you can't hang a picture.
I once put about a half dozen holes in the ceiling of our dining room in search of a leak that had come down through the chandelier over the dining room table. I needed to make the holes to get a good look at where the leak was coming from since the wet spot may be the end point of a stream of water from elsewhere (see entry ceiling discussion above). It looked for a while like we had had a particularly wild frat party in that room. Eventually, we discovered the leak was coming from one of the valve handles in the shower above and down through the wall. Why would someone replace the gasket on that valve and fail to put the proper washer in it before tightening it down? I was pretty upset about that until I thought about who did it.
As I said above, I have given up home repairs for the most part. I can do a toilet float valve in my sleep, and I’m still pretty good with lightbulbs and such, but no more plumbing and I think drywall and painting are finished, also. I would volunteer to help my children as they work on their residences, but I don’t want to destroy any relationships, so I think I’ll just supervise.
When you are newly married and poor, you believe you can do any repair. Some of the repairs I went looking for, while others were thrust upon me - there was the time I asked Sydney what the bulge in the ceiling drywall was in the entry area of our old home. The roof was old and it had just rained heavily. How much water could be trapped there anyway? So I poked a hole in the drywall with a screwdriver to let the water out, and voila! The ceiling collapsed dumping a lot of water and drywall on the floor and creating a ceiling and roofing project for me.
Recently, I put some new fixtures in our upstairs bathroom shower. New handles, downspout, shower fixture, and drain. A simple procedure. You take off the old hardware, put on the new, and there you are. The following weekend we had some young women guests as part of a youth conference, and they used the bathroom for showers. A perfect stress test of my work. I went into the garage while they were showering, and discovered we could have saved water by having one of them take a shower under the garage ceiling using the water that poured from the ceiling. It would have already been soapy for them. How could changing the drain do that? I was going to tear open the ceiling but called a plumber instead. He checked the bathtub drain and said the “shoe” was askew. Who knew a bathtub had shoes? I removed one drain and put another in and the bathtub threw a shoe like some frisky horse?
We had a kitchen faucet that was leaky so instead of doing the rational thing and calling a plumber, I decide to fix it myself. Unfortunately, to remove the valve, you had to crawl under the sink and disconnect several pipes then disassemble the valve so you could remove it from the sink so you could pull it apart to get to the interior piece that was the likely source of the mischief. I took it to the plumbing supply house where they were kind enough to sell me the new piece for the valve, and then the clerk said in a by the way you probably already knew this tone of voice, “You unscrew the top of the valve and pull the old stem out and insert the new one then screw the top back on.” The top of the valve! You mean the top unscrews? You mean you don’t have to take apart everything underneath the sink lying on your back with water dripping in your face trying to unscrew a fitting with one hand and holding a flashlight with the other. What made them think I didn’t know that?
Of course, if you’re not bright enough to manage plumbing, there is always drywall. I’ve done drywall. I’ve done it because my sons learned how to put holes in it early in their lives. I’ve stepped through dry wall ceilings while putting boxes in the attic. Don’t let anyone tell you insulation in the attic covers anything substantial. It only covers drywall, and that is not substantial, at least not compared to the weight of a person resting on one foot on the drywall. It surprised me and it surprised everyone in the room below. Well, you cut the drywall around the damaged area, then you cut a new piece of drywall to fit the hole, you nail it to the nearest piece of wood behind the hole, then you cover the gaps around the edge of the patch with drywall compound or tape it with drywall tape first, paint it, and it’s fixed. The final step is to hang a picture over it to avoid awkward questions. That's why ceilings are more difficult - you can't hang a picture.
I once put about a half dozen holes in the ceiling of our dining room in search of a leak that had come down through the chandelier over the dining room table. I needed to make the holes to get a good look at where the leak was coming from since the wet spot may be the end point of a stream of water from elsewhere (see entry ceiling discussion above). It looked for a while like we had had a particularly wild frat party in that room. Eventually, we discovered the leak was coming from one of the valve handles in the shower above and down through the wall. Why would someone replace the gasket on that valve and fail to put the proper washer in it before tightening it down? I was pretty upset about that until I thought about who did it.
As I said above, I have given up home repairs for the most part. I can do a toilet float valve in my sleep, and I’m still pretty good with lightbulbs and such, but no more plumbing and I think drywall and painting are finished, also. I would volunteer to help my children as they work on their residences, but I don’t want to destroy any relationships, so I think I’ll just supervise.
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